Satisfying Desires
by Y.L.O.A.K
Summary: Draco came to Harry and demanded one thing from him. To be fuck buddies. With Harry confused and beginning to get lost in his emotions, can he and Draco become something more? Would Draco give him a any kind of consideration? Or will someone else steal Harry's heart? (Cedric is still alive ) Cedric x Harry x Draco
1. Nothing to Him

**This story has been rewritten, edited and heavily extended. I'm not really sure where this story is going honestly or if it will even continue from here. I haven't given it much thought since it was a small drabble but tell me what you think please and leave a review or message me privately, I greatly appreciate it and sorry it's a tad bit depressing. Ignore any mistakes I may have over-looked. Enjoy~**

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><p>Harry laid naked in the stranger's bed, staring at the ceiling he came to know so well, while the sleeping form next to him snored peacefully in his sleep. Harry turned, looking at the blonde hair and pale skin, the grey piercing eyes that were now closed. Examining the small, but still muscular body, for a few minutes, taking in the marks he had left behind. Scratches covered the pale hips, hickies and bite marks scattered everywhere, he didn't even remember biting in some of the areas, then again he didn't remember much after shagging the blonde.<p>

Turning away from him, he looked again at the ceiling and he sighed deeply to himself. He couldn't remember how things had happened, what had caused this sudden spark of interest, if you could even call it that, between two enemies, complete opposites of each other. Him a Gryffindor and the other a Slytherin, the two were just never meant to be together in any kind of way. Folding his arms behind his head, he continued to look at the ceiling, wondering how long this had been going on for now. A month? Maybe two? He didn't remember, he only remembered Malfoy's sudden proposal to him when he cornered him in the abandoned boy's toiletries.

"_I have a request for you Potter. Both you and I have curious thoughts about the same sex, and don't try to deny it, I've seen the looks you've given to some of the older and handsome students here and I find it quite amusing whenever a girl is trying to flirt her way to get into your pants, your look is rather hilarious with a disgusted face. And as for me being curious with the same sex, I assure you none of that is any of your business so keep your nose out of it and don't question me. Therefore I'd like to know if you'd be interested in a sexual relationship. ONLY sex. None of that mushy and love bullshit, as you can tell were both not those pansy Hufflepuffs. No feelings, no strings or attachments, no love. Just a meeting between us every so often, a few times a week or so, to have raw and hard sex." Draco said this all with a straight emotionless face before advancing on Harry, tugging his robe and shirt off in the process, revealing his fit and pale muscular body, his grey eyes piercing into Harry's green ones as lust and want filled them, he got down on his knees before Harry, his hand beginning to unzip his pants, "I advise you accept my request because after all, a Malfoy gets what he wants. And what I want is you Potter, and I want you now."_

Harry didn't know why he had agreed to these conditions, nor why he hadn't argued when Malfoy had seemed to find out about his attraction towards males and why he didn't fight back when Malfoy gave him the best blow job of his life. He hadn't been a virgin before he and Malfoy had shagged those months ago, if it was that long ago, and had slept around quite a bit. Ginny and him hadn't worked out so they broke things off a few days after getting together early in fourth year, Ron didn't talk to him for almost a month when that happened. He did his best to look at females but found no interest in them whatsoever, he only shagged them because he didn't want anyone to find out that he actually preferred males, which he had shagged here and there but they never spoke of it.

He honestly didn't remember much of what happened after Malfoy's proposal. He faintly remembered cold lips touching his neck, clothes being torn off, being ripped apart more like it, scratches down his back which was soon followed by intense heat, tightness around him as he plunged himself deeper into it, a voice screaming his name over and over… The memory made him shiver a bit as memories of their nightly escapades together flooded through his mind. Most of the time they took place in Draco's own private room, which he had his father get for him around the time they started this strange agreement, but other times when the sex drive was high for Malfoy, he led Harry to a new place. The Astronomy Tower, empty classrooms, janitor closets in the halls, and one of Malfoy's favorites, The Room of Requirement, which gave them whatever the needed when Malfoy was feeling particularly kinky and wanted to be teased or tortured by Harry.

He looked over at Malfoy, who had shifted in his sleep and moved closer to him, seeking warmth. Harry studied his naked body carefully again, he saw a few things he hadn't seen. The scratches were accompanied by bruises that covered his waist and his now exposed back, many hickies were all over his back as well. Harry always wondered how Malfoy had managed to walk or even talk the morning after he had fucked him all night and made him scream his name loud enough to wake the entire school, he wasn't being cocky but Malfoy always went a good five or six rounds before finally being too exhausted to continue. He didn't think his small body could handle what it was receiving but he somehow managed to make it through the day without as much as wincing and then leading Harry off somewhere for another night together.

The hickies were easily noticed by friends and fangirls, who were especially angry, but Malfoy was known for fooling around with girls often and Harry was glad no one questioned him about the marks covering his pale skin, the last thing he needed was the entire wizard world knowing the Slytherin Prince had been shagged by the Boy-Who-Lived. As for him, his friends knew he shagged every once in a while but they were beginning to question him when his neck was frequently covered with marks that took days to disappear, only to be replaced with new ones by then, it was truly an endless cycle. Ron had congratulated Harry, thinking he was finally beginning to settle down and he and Hermione figured he was secretly seeing someone but just didn't want to announce anything yet. They still questioned him often and pushed to meet his 'secret girlfriend' but he always shot down their requests much to their disappointment.

Harry watched Malfoy's chest rise and fall peacefully as he snuggled against Harry's chest, he didn't think he'd ever seen him look so relaxed before and he began to reach out to him, wanting to stroke his cheek or run his fingers through what he hoped was soft hair but stopped, remembering the conditions and threats Malfoy had, "_No tender touching or gentle caresses awake or asleep or I'll hex you into next year._" Pulling his hand back, he looked away from the blonde and continued to let him cuddle against him, he didn't care if the blonde got special treatment and he never told Malfoy he cuddled him in his sleep. Looking towards the window, Harry saw the sun rising and knew he should be leaving soon, Ron and the others would be awake and they'd be alarmed if he wasn't in bed by the time breakfast had started. He stayed there for a moment though, it was almost winter time at Hogwarts and there was a small layer of snow covering the ground outside. Christmas time was coming soon and students would be leaving to go home to their families, only he would be the only one to stay behind.

Getting out the bed quietly, he looked for his discarded clothes and did his best to not wake Malfoy up. He had learned the hard way that he wasn't a morning person in the slightest and he didn't want to deal with an extremely annoyed Malfoy, he was already annoying as it was but he somehow got more difficult to deal with when he was woken up early. He frowned as a memory popped into his mind, recalling the night when they had accidentally fallen asleep in the Room of Requirement after a busy evening together. He had woken up when it was nearly breakfast and tried getting Malfoy up so he would go to his room, but instead, when he had managed to wake him, a punch hit Harry hard in the jaw, leaving a bruise. It had been difficult trying to think of a lie when his friends saw his swollen jaw and cheek, it having a bruise for a while. He just lied to them and told them that his 'girlfriend' and he had gotten into a small argument when he went to see her this morning. George and Fred teased him relentlessly about it.

Rubbing his jaw as the memory faded away, he slipped into his clothes quickly, looking over to Malfoy, who was still sleeping . He ran a hand through his messy black hair and looked in the mirror for any marks Malfoy might've left behind, last night he had been feeling rather nippy and bit Harry whenever he got the chance, much to his dislike, leaving Harry no choice but to put him face down and take him from behind. He thumbed over a bite mark just near his jawline and frowned, wondering how he was going to explain this to his friends. He decided to worry about that later.

Fixing his collar so he could hide the mark a bit, he grabbed the Cloak of Invisibility which was thrown to the side and put it on, leaving his head visible. He looked over at Malfoy again and walked over to the bed, staring down at him sleeping for a moment. He wondered why Malfoy didn't want them to kiss when they had sex but didn't question his requests, which he never did. He badly wanted to touch him, feel him in a different way other than sexual but shaking his head, he grabbed the comforter and pulled it careful over Malfoy who gladly accepted it and pulled it closer to him. He knew Malfoy would never see him more than someone that just satisfied his desires and for some reason that made his heart sting in pain, another memory quickly resurfaced, it was one Harry wished he could forget but it still sometimes kept him up at night and distracted him from doing his homework or classwork, which got him detention a few times from Snape.

_Harry and Malfoy had just finally climaxed for the final time after having shagged for hours, Malfoy was finally exhausted and he collapsed onto his messy bed, ready for some sleep. Harry stared down at him and felt his heart begin to tighten up as he looked at the sexy blonde. His beautiful white hair falling over his face and covering his eyes slightly, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath, his lips slightly parted and slightly chapped. Harry didn't know why but he felt a strong urge to kiss him, he never felt it in the previous shagging times but now, now he wanted to taste those pink lips and officially claim that he had tasted him completely. He leaned forward, breathing a bit hard and trying to keep himself up so he wouldn't fall and crush the blonde, but he was pushed back. Malfoy had his eyes opened slightly and they were fogged with an emotion Harry knew well, it was how he always looked at him whenever he got carried away and tried to be tender with him. Regret. "D..don't." Malfoy had breathed out and Harry swallowed, his heart shattering and he simply pushed himself away from the blonde, not saying a word and he quickly left after that._

Coming back to reality, and giving the blonde one last glance, Harry pulled the hood over his head, leaving the room and Slytherin dorm rooms silently, luckily the Slytherins were lazy and slept in so he had no issue leaving without anyone seeing him. As he walked down the halls away from the dungeon, he wondered if what he and Malfoy were doing made them lovers of some sort. He stopped abruptly, turning and staring at the sun which was making the snowy scenery before him look stunning. Deep down, he hoped that Malfoy would somehow stay with him for the holidays but he also knew he meant nothing to him and wouldn't give him a second glance if he got the courage to ask him to stay. He turned back to the hallway and continued walking, the answer to his question becoming clear. Him and Malfoy weren't lovers.

They were merely fuck buddies.


	2. Unreadable Emotions

**Let me know what you think~ I like this chapter quite a bit honestly. Reviews are much aappreciated.**

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><p><em><strong>They were merely fuck buddies.<strong>_

Harry awoke to the sound of an alarm ringing off and he groaned quietly, pulling the pillow over his head as he tried to muffle out the high pitched sound that was making his ears began to ache. He grumbled to himself and heard his roommate and best friend, Ron groan loudly and slam the alarm clock with a loud clang. Harry honestly didn't know how it wasn't broken after all these years of Ron slamming it, kicking it, and the rare occasions of when he would throw it at the stone wall. Hermione had offered them to fix it but it was odd to think of it not looking dented and smashed with a few wires hanging out so the two had refused, even though it was a piece of junk, it was a gift they had gotten from Ron's parents their first year and it actually meant a lot to the two boys. Harry kept the pillow over his head, depression weighing down on him as it always did after he spent the night with Malfoy and he debated whether or not it was worth getting up, he was feeling sore from shagging Malfoy all bloody night, he had Quidditch practice the same day and the extra few hours of 'exercising' had taken his toll on him, plus it was cold since it had snowed and he didn't want to leave his incredibly warm bed.

He finally decided to stay in bed all day and just skip classes, he could always have Hermione help him with the work that he missed, she'd honestly help him either way but then his stomach growled, loudly and painfully. Cursing himself for skipping dinner last night to go with Malfoy, he sighed in defeat and sat up, reaching for his glasses, slipping them on and he ran a hand through his messy black hair. He grumbled at the coldness in the air and wrapped his blanket around him in annoyance, he looked at the redhead who had fallen back asleep, "Ron…get up, we've only got…" He squinted at the demolished alarm clock, "Half an hour before breakfast is over." He chuckled when Ron quickly got up at the thought of breakfast and he shook his head slightly, stretching his aching body, "_Hasn't changed one bit after all these years.._" Their other roommates also got up when he mentioned breakfast, Neville banging his head on his bed post as he hurried to get dressed, Dean was already gone, and Seamus was already up before, buttoning up his robe. Harry fumbled through his chest, still keeping the blanket wrapped around him, as he tried to find a pair of clothes when Ron's voice broke the silence in the room,

"Oi, Harry, is that a hickie on your neck?"

Harry immediately covered the mark on his neck with his hand and blushed slightly, avoiding everyone's gaze on him and he nodded, "Uh…I…Y-Yeah…it is…" He could hear the smirk in Ron's voice, "Ah, so _that's _why you skipped dinner last night eh? You were busy shagging your 'secret girlfriend'!" Harry threw him a dirty look and said through gritted teeth, "At least I can get shagged." His insult went unheard as Seamus and Neville began laughing and the three started teasing them like Fred and George did when they found out about Harry's 'girlfriend',

"The Boy Who Lived is getting shagged!" Seamus shouted.

"Of course he is! Who wouldn't want to shag _Harry Potter! Ooh!_" Ron said in a girly voice as he batted his eyelashes in a girly way. Harry threw a pillow at him and chuckled when he hit him in the face and made him fall back onto the floor.

"I don't know, your sister maybe." Seamus retorted with a grin as Ron got flustered and then he threw the pillow at Seamus, missing him as it instead hit Neville.

"Don't talk about Ginny like that! That's not a bloody image I want to picture about my best friend and little sister!" Ron shouted before tossing another pillow at Seamus who again dodge, and the pillow hit Neville once again.

"It's true though! And she's not so little anymore Ron, after all, have you seen the size of those big melons she ha-" Seamus said with a perverted grin as he zoned out at the thought.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I BLOODY BREAK YOUR NOSE!" Ron screamed, his face turning pure red.

"…I think Ginny is quite beautiful." Neville softly stated as he tried to put on his tie, not succeeding and being left with an almost undoable knot. Harry, Ron and Seamus all looked at Neville, who was now struggling to fix his tie, and they all had an eyebrow raised, Neville looked at them and froze, blushing slightly, "…What?" Turning away from him, Seamus and Ron decided to have a pillow fight, almost getting into a full on fight until Harry reminded them they only had twenty minutes left before classes. He regretted interrupting them when they instead decided to play twenty questions with Harry as they walked to breakfast together. Harry was beginning to get annoyed about being bothered so much but was also glad to have his mind distracted by these gits for friends and he forgot about Malfoy, trying his best to ignore the questions that were being thrown at him, especially the inappropriate ones, which there was a lot of, that were making his face redden.

"So Harry, does this girl have a nice arse?"

"I've always been more of a boob kinda guy, she have nice boobs Harry?"

"She any good in bed?"

"When do we get to meet her Harry?"

"Yeah Harry, you've been seeing this gal since the beginning of the year, it's bout time we got to meet her don't you think?"

"Maybe she's just shy, is she shy Harry?"

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples and he looked at the boys behind him who were looking at him desperately for details or answers and he mumbled, "It's nothing like that…were not…together…" Harry felt a sharp pain in his chest, why did it hurt to say that? Ron looked at him confused, "..But I thou-" Harry cut him off, "That's what you thought Ron but it isn't true, I'm not settling down or anything…She…doesn't want a full on relationship with me, she just wants to shag every so often with me and I don't know why but I've agreed to do it. She's not into the whole 'Boy-Who-Lived' concept and I honestly like it better that way…She's just a good shag, nothing more than that." "_Liar…_" his heart whispered to him.

The three boys looked at each other before looking back at him and they chose not say anything since Harry had a pretty nasty temper when he was pushed far enough. Instead they went to the Great Hall in silence, Hermione already beating them there. Seamus and Neville went off by themselves and Ron sat next to Hermione, kissing her cheek tenderly as he murmured quietly to her, "Good morning love, you look beautiful today." Harry smiled at his two best friends, they finally got together over the summer when Ron finally told her how he felt about her. It was rather funny actually, Ron spent an hour getting dressed properly and he even combed his hair, he was practicing what he was going to say and was talking to himself in the mirror when Hermione heard him and nonetheless, she confessed too. They had been dating ever since and Harry was happy for them, even though he was miserable with the whole Malfoy thing and he sometimes got a little jealous that they were soaring on cloud nine while he seemed to be crashing down from cloud nine, not that he had ever really been there in the first place but in the end he was happy that his friends were happy. That's all that truly mattered to him and he'd never wish anything ill upon their relationship.

Speaking of Malfoy, Harry looked up towards the Slytherin table, looking for the blonde. He didn't know why he always tried to catch a glimpse of the annoying boy but he always found himself looking for him or staring in his direction. His eyes continued to dart back and forth and they finally stopped when he saw him, sitting between Goyle and Crabbe as he laughed at a Ravenclaw that had tripped and spilled her food over a few Hufflepuffs. They were all flailing around frantically trying to get the food out of their hair when one of the Hufflepuffs slipped and dragged the Ravenclaw down with them into the mess of food on the floor. Malfoy looked like he was going to shit himself from laughing so much and from laughing so hard. He smiled at the sight of Malfoy laughing, even if it was in a mean way he still looked…_cute._

Harry grimaced at the sudden word, did he just think Malfoy was _cute? _He shook his head, rubbing his eyes as he turned away from the table and he focused on eating. Luckily Hermione and Ron were busy giving each other googly eyes and didn't notice his odd behaviour, Harry watched them for a moment. Ron was holding Hermione close to him and he was nipping at her ear, Hermione was blushing like mad as she tried to push him away, telling him to stop being inappropriate and hormonal but Harry could tell she didn't actually mean it when he saw her small smile. He wondered if Malfoy could be like that, playful and loving. He almost laughed at the thought, "_Malfoy? Playful and loving? Rubbish, I doubt he even knows what love is and playing to him is tormenting first years and making people miserable, especially me._" He ate a forkful of eggs and he began to wonder what it would be like if Malfoy was really like that, a scenario came to his mind as the thought deepened and began to form into a small fantasy. Ah yes, he could imagine it perfectly…

_It'd be morning, he'd be gently caressing the pale and smooth skin as Malfoy slept after a night full of love-making. His back would be facing, him, he'd kiss him, not bite, over his shoulders in a loving way and then snuggle into his neck and nip his ear as Ron did to Hermione. Malfoy would move under him as he awoke and laugh quietly, trying to roll away but he would just pull him closer as Malfoy softly complained, "Mm…Potter knock it off…that tickles I'll have you know…" Harry would just grin in response and then bury his face into the crook of Malfoy's neck, giving it several kisses as he held Malfoy tightly against him, who would be squirming and laughing as he tried to get away, "P-Potter! St-ahah! S-Stop y-you git! Ge-aha! O-off me before I-I hex y...you! Aha!" He'd then move before getting whacked but would get a playful pinch on his cheek instead as Malfoy turned and stared at him, flustered and trying to hide a bright smile by instead having his trademark smirk plastered on his face, "You're…an idiot Potter.." Finally, he'd stroke the well-defined jaw and thumb Malfoy's cheek gently, leaning down as he went to capture those perfect pink lips for a kiss…_

"_Harry!"_

Harry snapped from his thoughts, his fork still hanging from his mouth as he jolted and tried to speak, "Thwat?" Hermione and Ron were watching him confused and he pulled the fork from his mouth, his face turning red with embarrassment, "S-Sorry, I was just thinking…never mind, it doesn't matter. What were you saying?" he said with a small sigh as he stabbed into his eggs and took another bite, a bit annoyed he was interrupted at the best part of his daydream. Hermione repeated what she had said before, "Is it true the girl you've been seeing is only using you for a sexual relationship only?" Harry almost choked at her question and he quickly drank some pumpkin juice, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he glared at Ron who shrugged and mouthed, _"I'm sorry but I can't lie to her…" _Harry sighed loudly, resting his head in one hand and he nodded, "Yes Hermione it's true but-" Hermione immediately cut him off, "Harry! You cannot be doing something like that! It's…it's unhealthy and emotionally damaging, this explains why you've been so down and shut off lately from everyone doesn't it? She's just using you Harry, you should be with someone that actually cares about you, takes care of you and might even come to love you when the time is right…You have to stop seeing her at once Harry, we don't want you to get hurt…"

Hermione looked nervously at Ron before looking at Harry again, she was the only one that knew about Malfoy and went along with calling him a 'her'. Harry didn't tell her much about them, just that they were seeing each other and even though it took some time, she eventually came to accept it, despite almost choking him and telling him he was mad for seeing Malfoy. But now that she had finally heard what was happening, almost casting a spell on Ron to get it out of him, she was furious and immediately trying to protect her close friend. Harry sighed, "I know Hermione I know, it's just…I don't know, everything is so confusing for me at the moment and I keep getting mixed feelings about her. I'm not sure how I even feel towards her but a part of me does want something more and the other part just wants a good shag once in a while, she just refuses to grant me anything beyond that and I think I might actually be alright with her decisions…" He looked away and before his friends could speak, he quickly added, "I'd really _really_ rather not talk about it…please. I've alright got a lot on my mind about it already and I just need to set my priorities out and see where things take me. I appreciate your concern for me but I'd rather try to solve this on my own."

Feeling his appetite suddenly disappear, he stood from the table, avoiding eye contact and he slung his bag over his shoulder, and muttered out quietly, "I'll see you guys in class." And he left the Great Hall, peeking over at Malfoy with a small amount of hope that maybe, just maybe he might've seen him looking upset and would come to see if he was alright, just to show that he cared.

He hadn't.

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><p>Harry sighed as he grabbed his broom before heading out to the Quidditch Pitch, he had a rough day and wanted to have some much needed time for himself. Snape was extra cruel on him during class and he had a mountain of homework he had to do, but instead of going with Ron and Hermione to the library, he decided to take some time for himself and clear his head of all the stress and responsibilities that were making it difficult for him to process. Malfoy especially, the blonde was on his mind more than ever and he was getting rather annoyed by it. "<em>I know we're just an every other day shag but even the guys I've shagged before weren't on my mind this much…<em>" he grumbled in annoyance, "_What makes him so different? Maybe the 'opposites attract' thing? Yeah…maybe that's it, I've never thought of Malfoy being attracted to me though…_" Harry stopped walking at the thought, just at the edge of the Quidditch Pitch field, "_Is Malfoy attracted to me? After all he can get almost anyone he wants by just a glance and clever remark… Why did he choose me?..._" The question rammed at his brain for a few minutes but he gave up on trying to find an answer, he'd never get one anyway unless he worked up the courage to ask Malfoy himself.

Double-checking the time, he saw he had about an hour or so before he had to be back for dinner. "_Should be plenty of time…_" he thought to himself quietly as he walked onto the huge field that was covered with almost a foot of snow and looked rather beautiful. Harry climbed onto his broom and took off instantly into the air, the cold nipping at his ears and his nose but he could hardly feel it, he was too busy enjoying the feeling of flying, the wind blowing through his messy hair and pushing it from out of his face. Harry loved more than anything to fly, he just felt so free, something he never truly had nor got to enjoy often. He never had to worry about anything or anyone when he was up in the sky, it was just him and the wonderful feeling of feeling alive. He soared through the air gracefully, dashing in and out of the stands and twirling around, even doing a few loops sometimes. Breathing out as calmness came over him, he flew up into the air as far as he could, and he shut his eyes as the wind rushed through him. Removing his scarf and holding it tightly in his hand, he let go of his broom and allowed himself to fall back while his legs remained tightly around the broom to keep it from slipping out of his grip. Gravity, doing its job, began pulling him downward quickly towards the ground that was a couple hundred feet below him.

This was one of his favorite tricks and definitely the one that gave the best feeling. The feeling of falling didn't scare him, if anything he embraced it and he opened his arms as wide as he could, the broom and his legs doing several spirals as the rest of his body spinned around along in the same motion of his legs and broom. His robes flowed beneath him, wavering in the wind, time seeming to slow down and he opened his eyes slightly, sighing out into the cold air. "_If only I could feel this free all the time…_" he thought with another sigh and he saw the stands coming into view, meaning he was nearing the ground. With quick and instant reflexes, he grabbed his broom and twisted his body at the speed of light, pulling himself upright and edging the ground, sending some snow flying as his feet kicked it. He zipped around the field at top speed, leaning forward and dipping his hand into the snow. His hand was soon numb from the icy coldness but he didn't mind, it just made him want to do his trick again and again until he was lost in time.

Harry did mind though when a cold and hard snowball smashed into the side of his face, knocking him off as his broom as he fell face first into the snow, his broom landing a few feet away from him. He groaned loudly, the sound being muffled since his face was deep in the snow and he angrily stood up, almost falling in the snow again as another snowball hit him square in the chest. He tumbled back for a moment and he shouted angrily, covering his head with his hands and arms. "Alright! For Merlin's sake enough already whoever you are!" He wasn't able to see since snow was coating his glasses and when no more snowballs came, he angrily pulled them off, wiping the snow off and as he slipped them on he froze when a familiar voice came to his ears,

"Just what the _fuck_ did you exactly think you were doing Potter?!"


	3. Heart Break

**Sorry this new chapter is a bit late, I've been having a few issues lately but those matters are solved. I'll try to update more often if school allows me. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. Our lovely Cedric will be making an appearence soon~ Reviews are much appreciated and let me know what you think might happen. Enjoy~**

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><p>"<em><strong>Just what the fuck did you exactly think you were doing Potter?!"<strong>_

Harry stared at an angry Malfoy that was advancing towards him quickly, kicking up snow as he struggled to walk through it and his broom was held tightly in his hand as it dragged alongside behind him. He was in his Quidditch gear and, Merlin, did he look furious, his eyes narrowed angrily and his face flushed almost pure red. He had never seen him angry like this but seeing Malfoy's angry face stirred something deep within him, something that felt it should be known and help him remember something long forgotten. He couldn't get it out though as it tried to push its way out but he felt as if he had seen Malfoy look like this before, he just couldn't remember it which confused him greatly. An urge inside begin to tug at him, he felt the need to embrace him and to kiss him and hold him…_make love to him_.No, not shag but actually make love to him, Harry felt even more confused but his body seemed to know what to do as an aching feeling spread in his arms and legs, wanting nothing more than to run to the angry blonde and kiss his unhappiness away. Holding himself back though, he could almost _feel _as if he had touched those soft lips with his own before, the thought made whatever memory hidden in the back of his mind resurface for just an instant. It was just a small flash and Harry only got bits and fragments of it.

"_I'm…_"

"_There's something I need to tell you…_"

"_I don't know why but…_"

"_It's the opposite…_"

"_I need…_"

"_Merlin, Harry!_"

"_I think….I might…_"

Harry almost stumbled back, his head throbbing in pain as the memory or whatever it was, locked itself away again and forced back into the depths of his mind. He grabbed the sides of his head, the throbbing filling him with pain as his brain felt like it was being pounded with a hammer and he hissed quietly in pain. Clenching his teeth, he screwed his eye shut until the pain dulled away before finally disappearing. Opening his eyes again, he saw Malfoy looking at him and he was surprised to see his eyes full of a familiar emotion he knew very well. _Fear. _He looked as if he was about to pass out, paler then before and Harry began wondering, did Malfoy have something to do with whatever that flashback was? Why couldn't he remember it? What was Malfoy hiding from him? He stared at Malfoy, who shook his head, muttering something under his breath he didn't quite catch before hardening his face again and recollecting himself quickly, the fear vanishing from his eyes but not completely. It still seemed to linger behind the fury his eyes filled with once again.

Before Harry had a chance to speak, Malfoy swung a hard fist at him, Harry ducked out of the way just in time as it edged past his ear. He quickly grabbed his arm and he grabbed Malfoy's other arm when he tried to punch him with his other fist, dropping his broom in the snow. Malfoy began struggling in his grip as if Harry's touch was burning his skin, as he shouted at him and tried to kick at his shins with the heels of his shoes, "You're a fucking idiot Potter! What if something had happened to you while you were doing your little fancy trick?! I thought you had passed out like the git you are and that you were going to fall to the fucking ground and fucking _die._" Harry stared at him in shock, did Malfoy actually…_care?_ He wanted to ask him what he meant by that but Malfoy took advantage of his shock and twisted from his grip. He yanked himself away, grabbing his broom with both hands as he swung it at him, hitting Harry in the face with it. The hits didn't hurt since it was such a weak swing but the bristles were jabbing and almost cutting into his skin, which did hurt. Luckily his glasses protected him from being potentially blinded and miraculously they managed to stay on instead of falling into the snow. Staggering back, Harry knew he wouldn't be able to talk to Malfoy when he was feeling and acting like this so he did the only thing he could, he fled from the angry Slytherin. Malfoy surprisingly ran after him, continuing to swing his broom and he kept shouting loudly at him.

"You fucking moron!"

"Don't ever let me see you doing that again!"

"Get your stupid fat arse over here!"

"I swear to Merlin when I get my hands on you-"

"Come face me like a man you fucking…coward!"

Harry looked back at him and he almost laughed at the sight, forgetting about everything else for a moment, as he watched an angry blonde was running after him furiously, swinging his broom wildly as he struggled to try and catch up. Malfoy was shorter then Harry and it was difficult for him to run in the deep snow, he almost kept falling as he ran, his face flushed redder then before. Harry finally stopped running, deciding that was enough of fooling around with the short man and he wanted to get some answers from him now that he had the chance. Picking up his broom from the snow, that was now a small distance from him, he waited for the blonde to catch up to him, who was out of breath and he swung a weak fist at Harry, barely hitting him in his shoulder as he was doubled over, trying to breathe, "You..fuckin…moron…" He managed to blurt out between his deep breaths, holding himself up as he placed his hands on his knees. Harry looked down at him, not responding to any of his insults, he was surprised that they didn't bother him as much as they used to. He wrapped his scarf around his neck that he was still holding tightly in his hand, and he covered half his face with it to avoid the wind that had picked up. He continued to wait for Malfoy to catch his breath before he finally asked him the question that was beginning to gnaw at his brain and heart.

"Do you care about me Malfoy?" He mumbled out quietly, shifting his gaze away from him before he continued, "I mean…I honestly would've expected you to be upset I hadn't injured myself during my practice…or doing my tricks…And I had an odd flashb-"

Malfoy stood up straight instantly, his eyes narrowed and his fists were clenched tightly, he looked as if steam was about to blow out from his ears and nose like in the cartoons. Harry jumped slightly at the sudden movement, stopping mid-sentence, and thought he was going to get hit for a moment and he took a step back, tensing up slightly as he waited for a sharp pain. It never came though, to his surprise, and Malfoy crossed his arm in a childish way, shouting at him as he scowled, "Merlin you're fucking stupid Potter. More stupid then I thought. I feel horrible for your future children if they get your intelligence. Honestly, a bat is smarter than you." Harry sighed, rubbing his face as he pushed his glasses up, not wanting to go in circles with the blonde and get nowhere with him, "Stop avoiding the question Malfoy, just answer it instead of trying to turn the subject into something else. I'm getting really tired of you're stupid game and letting you toy around with me. I'll ask you once more, do you care about me or not Malfoy? If you're not going to respond then just leave me alone, I can't ever get you out of my head and...and I'm so confused with everything. I don't understand why you chose me, someone that you've hated all your life, someone that you love making miserable. What do you want from me Malfoy? Just a good shag? Because I think…I want something more besides just shagging. All you've been doing is confusing me and…hurting me but…I think I might be…in love with you..." He said this all in an extremely pained voice, and he was confused at his own confession, did he just say he loved him? Since when? Where had that come from? But deep down he knew it was true, his tongue hadn't deceived him, it had admitted the truth and he finally realized it. He was in love with Malfoy.

He felt suddenly bitter and exhausted as his emotions swirled around him, taunting him and making him hurt. He wanted to get all these questions answered already. They had been bothering him for months and he just wanted more than anything to actually _know. _Harry thought asking him the questions would make him feel better or relieved at least but he felt much worse than before. The true situation was finally being revealed to him and he didn't like it, he regretted asking and wanted to go back to how he was just a few moments ago, silently accepting Malfoy's orders and shagging him whenever he wanted. Malfoy, who seemed to be shocked by his statement, his eyes were slightly wider then before and his jaw hung open slightly, for once he looked like he didn't know what to say. He didn't have any clever remark, an insult, he had absolutely nothing to say to him, which probably broke Harry's heart more than anything else.

Or was he forcing himself not to say things he wanted to but couldn't? Malfoy was shuffling his feet in the snow, kicking it around aimlessly as he bit the edge of his lip, looking around as if someone might be listening to them. He was gripping his broom tightly with both hands and Harry was afraid he might break it if he gripped it any tighter, his already white knuckles were sticking out more as his grip tightened. Harry gave him a few more seconds to speak, watching him as he continued to stay where he was, avoiding his gaze but when no words came from the boy in front of him, he sighed and he pulled his scarf higher, enough to cover his nose. He said in a sad and muffled tone, "If that's how things are then Malfoy, I'll be headed on my way then, and forget what I just said. I didn't mean to say something so sudden…" He turned away, "I'll see you next time you would like to meet up and…shag." His heart twisted painfully as he started to walk off, his broom dragging behind him as he thought sadly, his vision beginning to get blurred with tears, "_He doesn't care about me, he doesn't feel the same way I do…Why does this hurt so much?_" He was suddenly stopped when a cold hand grabbed onto his wrist, squeezing it tightly and gently pulling him back.

Harry looked up to see Malfoy's hand wrapped tightly onto his wrist, almost clinging to it and he looked at the blonde who was still avoiding his gaze. Malfoy opened his mouth slightly before shutting again as he closed his silver grey eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath before blowing it out into the cold air. Harry waited for him patiently until he was ready to speak, his gut clenching tightly in his stomach as he eagerly waited for him. He realized that it had begun snowing again, white crystals gently floating down to the ground and sticking to Harry and Malfoy everywhere, even their hair which was beginning to get a bit damp with the icy coldness. The blonde suddenly let go of his arm, it falling limply to Harry's sides as Malfoy spoke, his voice breaking the thick tension in the air between them,

"Harry…I.."

His heart jumped into his throat, it beginning to pound in his chest at the sound of his name. Malfoy had never said his name before in his life, not even when they were shagging and he felt light begin to fill him, happiness and joy spreading through him, something that he hadn't felt in a long time and he absolutely loved the feeling he felt, and he embraced it.

"I-I…"

Biting his tongue to keep himself from shouting in excitement, Harry felt as if everything around them was listening to them, waiting for Malfoy to finish his sentence, to maybe, just maybe, return the feelings Harry felt towards him. His entire body clenched tightly as Mal-..Draco finally managed to muster something out,

"I..I don't think we should see each other anymore…"

Harry felt his entire world collapse before him, the cold getting even colder and he felt his heart stop, he felt like he couldn't breathe. The happiness dissolved from his heart, body and soul completely, being filled with a numbing feeling, a sharp pain came along with it and it spread through him, paralyzing him. Falling to his knees and hands in the snow, his green eyes begin to blur again and his head hung limply, his damp hair sticking to his forehead. He barely heard Malfoy trudging in the snow as he passed by him, silently, leaving him alone in the middle of the Quidditch Pitch field.

Falling into the snow, Harry felt himself roll onto his back as he stared at the darkened sky, the sun completely swallowed up by grey clouds. He let the coldness take over him, his eyelids beginning to feel heavier as he fought to keep them open as he felt sleepy and tired, wanting nothing more than to just sleep. His vision blurred again, not from tears, and for a moment he thought he heard someone shouting his name as someone ran through the snow, but that didn't matter to him anymore. He let his eyes close, letting darkness take him.

"_I love you…_"


	4. Ginger and Vanilla

**And Cedric decides to finally enter the scene~! **

**Sorry for a long delay guys. I've been busy and write's block has been hitting my hard lately, inspiration is a bit hard to come by now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and reviews are much appreciated~**

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I love you…"<strong>_

Harry felt a rush of cold air brush past his uncovered skin, the hairs on the back of his neck rising instantly as goosebumps formed everywhere on his body, and he shivered, trying to hide from the cold air and he curled his body closer, not getting far when he felt something blocking him from moving. He felt arms around him tightened as he shivered, slowly beginning to warm his body that felt frozen in the cold air

He moved closer to the warmth eagerly, burying his nose into a rough and worn down fabric that contained heat, he caught a vague scent, and he sniffed the fabric. A mixture of ginger and vanilla raided his nose and made his senses tingle, he sniffed again, yearning for more of the wonderful fading smell. The sound of crisp snow crunching under heavy feet met his ears as well as the sound of someone huffing quietly and he heard the hammering of their heartbeat, even feeling it a bit as it thudded against his ear. He relaxed at the sound, sighing softly to himself and he thought hazily, "_Such a relaxing sound… I've never heard something like this before…_"

Harry thought of his previous shagging partners, when they would sometimes cuddle after a good shag and he wondered if this was why they would sleep with their heads on his chest, maybe they found his heart relaxing just as he did for whomever was holding him. Speaking of the person holding him, he moved his face away from the warm and wonderful smelling fabric and he shifted his body, wincing when his body felt achy and sore. The person holding him stopped and he could feel eyes on him, making him feel exposed.

Opening his eyes that were stuck together since his eyelashes were covered in a bit of ice, he looked first at the darkened sky and school several yards in front of him. A few lights were scattered here and there in the windows, and snow continued to fall down silently, looking deeper than it was before. He looked up, noticing he stands of the Quidditch Pitch gaping over him like the huge towers they were and he shivered again, never noticing how creepy they looked during the night. The structure made them look hundreds of years older than they already were and the shadows made them look darker and more threatening than they had before.

The arms around him tightened more and he shifted his head, looking up at the person carrying him and ready to ask why they smelled so amazing and how they managed to smell that nice when he stopped. Even though it was difficult to see since it was dark, he quickly recognized the boy, even though half his face was hidden in the shadows. "_Cedric Diggory..." _he mumbled quietly, his breath coming out as icy air. The older Hufflepuff was looking down at him curiously, his eyes shining brightly in the dark and a few droplets of water dripped from his messy bangs, hitting his hot cheeks. He smiled his charming smile that formed over his lips as continued to stare down at Harry, "Well, that takes a huge worry off my shoulders. I thought you had been badly injured yknow, seeing you passed out in the snow and all…I thought you had hit your head or something while flying, I nearly had a heart attack when I first saw you. I thought you had been killed." Cedric shook his head, more droplets of water raining down on Harry, and he shifted the Gryffindor in his arms before continuing to walk towards the school, his posture seeming to relax a little.

He didn't walk far before he looked down at him again, "I brought your broom too, encase you're wondering. I almost didn't see it since it was half buried in the snow…" Harry smiled weakly at his kindness, and Cedric looked away from him, shifting him around in his arms again. Harry suddenly felt uncomfortable being carried by a boy, he never let anyone touch him like his, not anyone that he had shagged anyway and he blushed slightly in embarrassment. Quickly, he triedto push himself out of the older boy's arms, he mumbled out quickly as he squirmed around, "T-Thanks Cedric, I appreciate your help but I think I can walk on my own now…Besides I'm sure it's difficult walking in deep snow like this while carrying another person." The Hufflepuff looked at him for a moment, looking a bit conflicted before turning away, Harry thought he saw a bit of sadness in his eyes but he didn't think much of it, he needed to get out of his arms. _Now_.

Cedric nodded noticeably, not responding as he let Harry down onto his feet, and he kept an arm around Harry's back, who quickly brushed off the snow that clung to his clothes and hair. Harry positioned his scarf so it gave him some protection from the wind that had picked up and he looked at Cedric confused when he continued to keep his arm around him. Cedric quickly pulled it away, scratching the back of his head as he smiled nervously, "Sorry, just wanted to make sure you weren't going to fall or anything…" He handed Harry his broom that was tucked under his arm and he pushed his hands into his pockets, shuffling his feet around in the deep snow. Harry took his broom from him and gave him another strange look, wondering why he was acting weird but disregarded it, thinking it was probably just a Hufflepuff thing, and he began to walk, frowning slightly when he found it difficult to walk in the deep snow. He silently wished that he had pretended to still be unconscious so he wouldn't have to be carried but decided to keep quiet and just deal with it.

Cedric followed him after a few moments and caught up with him quickly, his legs longer then Harry's and made walking in the deep snow easy for him. They soon walked side by side in silence, the only sound was the crunching of the snow beneath their feet and the sound of the wind whipping past them, when Cedric suddenly decided to speak up again, gazing over at him. "You had your friends worried…They had a lot of people looking for you when you didn't show up for dinner, even some of the teachers... Thought that maybe something happened to you or you got kidnapped by you-know-who's followers, I don't think I've ever seen Hermione look so flustered before…" Harry sighed at his words, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with Hermione scoldings tonight but he knew he would just have to deal with her motherly side one way or another. He shrugged absentmindedly, shaking his hair as more snow landed on it and stuck to it before he pushed it back and out of his face, "Yeah, I didn't think I would be gone very long…I just wanted to fly around some, it helps me clear my head and relax…Guess I just lost track of the time or something…"

Harry saw Cedric nod in agreement, "Yeah I can understand that, that's why I came here to help look for you, I had a feeling you might be here…" Harry met Cedric's eyes for a moment, they glistened slightly and he wondered what he meant by that but he didn't feel like asking him, turning away from the taller boy, the conversation dying out for a few minutes before Cedric spoke up once more. He seemed to really be trying to keep the conversation going and Harry silently wondered why. He and Cedric never talked much, not after the Triwizard Tournament that he was forced to compete in his previous year. They had shared the winning title after the different competitions and spent a few interviews together with different kinds of reporters who asked about their experience in seeing Voldermort's return but they hadn't talked much since then, barely even glancing at one another when they sometimes met in the hall. Why did he seem so eager to speak to him now?

"Why were you laying in the snow anyway?..." he asked quietly, looking at him curiously before looking away again. Harry felt his legs beginning to stiffen and his body tensed at his question, the memories from earlier came flooding into his mind and his emotions soon began swirling around in his chest. He eventually came to a stop while Cedric continued to walk ahead, clearly not noticing he had stopped walking. He could hear him mumbling under his breath as if he was still by his side,

"I ran into Draco on my way here too by the way, he seemed really furious…I think he might've even been crying… and he almost hexed me when I asked him if he was alright and if he had seen you anywhere, nasty temper he has that Slytherin… He didn't happen to harm-…Harry?"

Harry looked down at the snowy ground, not moving from where he stopped and his grip began tightening on his broom. He hung his head as Malfoy's words came back to him, running over and over his mind. His heart cracked every time he replayed the words,

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

"Harry, are you ok?" snow crunched as feet came closer to him.

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

"Hey, Harry, look at me. What's wrong? Did Draco hurt you in some kind of way? What did he do to you?" A pair of hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

His voice croaked out a few words before he could stop it,

"Make me fall in love with him…"

He bit his lip hard, a lump building in his throat that prevented him from speaking anymore and he felt tears begin to form in his eyes, the cold becoming even colder as all the emotions began to overwhelm him and he felt himself nearing his breaking point. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to control himself and his body trembled slightly as he tried to keep himself from crying. It was no use though and before he knew it, he was full on bawling his eyes out, every emotion he had tucked away from the beginning of the year pouring out. His body jolted and shook with every cry, and he blurted out more words as he sobbed,

"I-I t-tol-told hi…him l-loved him…A-and h-he…" He fell to his knees in the snow and wailed loudly, "H-He di-didn't lo-love me ba-back!"

More hot tears rolled down his cheeks and he wiped them away with his sleeve, the cold air beginning to make his face sting and he said in a voice that pleaded for answers, "W-why didn't h-he?...I…d-did e-everything…I-I though he m-might…" He let out another choked sob and he felt exhausted, wanting to just sleep his problems away but he felt himself being lifted up by a pair of strong arms. He looked confused when he realized Cedric was hugging him tightly, his arms wrapped around his waist as he held him comfortingly and squeezed him tightly. Harry bit his lip, his eyes swelling up with tears again and wrapped his arms around the taller boy, clinging to him tightly. He thought of Malfoy, turning away from him, and he felt another wave of emotions drown him again, and he cried harder, burying his face into the Huffepuff's shoulder, hoping to muffle his cries.

He continued to cry until his body couldn't produce anymore tears, he then hiccupped quietly and he felt the warm arms move to his shoulders, pushing him back gently. Wiping his tears and snot onto his sleeve, he hiccupped a few more times, his body shaking in the cold and his teeth began to chatter, his broom feeling suddenly heavier than before. Harry kept his gaze focused on the ground and barely noticed when another thick robe was thrown over him and he was suddenly lifted from the ground and secured into a warm embrace. He moved closer to Cedric, his body utterly exhausted from his emotional breakdown and he shut his eyes for a moment, Cedric's voice meeting his ears,

"…I won't tell anyone about what happened here tonight Harry...and…I'm truly sorry for what you went through…"

Harry couldn't help but sigh in relief, knowing he could trust Cedric with his secret and he shut his eyes, feeling the warmth of the body holding him soon mix in with the warmth of the castle. Cedric didn't put him down though and he kept walking down the hallway, heading towards what Harry assumed would be the Gryffindor common room. There was a long silence between them and Harry felt drowsiness seep over him, his eyelids beginning to feel heavy and he struggled to keep them open. He caught a glimpse of what looked like Hermione and Ron in the distance as they ran towards him, shouting words he didn't quite understand. Before he let sleep take over him, he heard a voice whisper that he _did _understand say softly to him,

"_I'm sorry I wasn't there…_"


	5. Hating Him

_**I'm sorry I wasn't there…**_

"_Why're you..."_

"_It's none of your business!"_

"_I am too..."_

"_When did you..."_

"_Please, give me more!"_

"_Harry..."_

Harry woke with a start, his eyes snapping open as his body jerked and he sat up quickly. The voices in his mind faded away to distant echoes before a heavy pounding, almost like a hammer, began crushing against the inside of his skull. He was breathing heavy and covered in a thin layer of sweat, his shirt clinging to him as his heart pounded against his chest wildly. Gulping down a mouthful of air, he glanced around the fuzzy but familiar looking room. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he recognized the red and golden colors covering the room, the familiar patterns bringing him reassurance as he continued to glance around his dorm room. He saw his roommate's familiar sleeping figures bundled up in covers and pillows and he heard the faint sound of snoring coming from where Ron was sleeping.

Without thinking, he tossed the covers he had over him and shakily reached for this bed stand, grabbing his glasses as he shoved them onto his face and instantly made his vision clearer. Light was shining dully from the patterned window, meaning it was already the next morning and it was extremely early as well. He could see the dusk of dawn beginning to awaken and spread throughout the snow covered land. Harry pushed back his sweaty bangs as his breathing began to relax and his heart started returning to normal, although his head continued to be hit over and over by the hammer relentlessly. Rubbing the tiredness from his eyes, he peeled off his sweaty shirt and tossed it to the floor, rolling over to the opposite side of the bed, sighing at the coldness of the sheets and pillows. He buried himself into the coldness in hopes the pounding in his head would stop.

Silently, he began to wonder about how he had gotten to his room in the first place when he felt his body freeze almost instantly, the thoughts from last night rushing back to him in the flash. Him flying gracefully through the air, Malfoy confronting him and telling him off, voices whispering to him, him blurting out his confession to Malfoy on accident, and finally, Malfoy turning away from him and stating coldly,

_"I don't think we should see each other anymore…"_

He felt pain appear suddenly and it slowly cut deeper into his chest as it began to swallow him, and he suddenly felt it difficult to breathe as he clutched the bed sheets tightly in his hand. Gritting his teeth, he felt hot tears begin to form into his eyes and he let them fall, and he forced himself to hold in the screams that were building up in his throat. Harry gripped the sheets tighter, burying his face into the pillow and he soon began to feel emotions he hadn't felt in a long time begin to resurface as they tried to numb him from feeling pain. Hurt, confusion, depression, rejection..._anger. _ Harry let out a shaky breath as he let himself push away the hurt and pain, his mind focusing itself on the anger that began to build up with in him.

"_I gave...everything to him. I let myself be toyed with and used for him... I did anything I could to make him happy...and for what, to get nothing in return... He's never cared for me, he doesn't give a shit about me. All he cares about is getting a good shag from someone, anyone that he would think would boost his fucking ego and make him seem like a sex god... He'll never love me, not like I loved him._" Harry wanted to slam his head against the headboard of his bed or maybe the stone wall at the thought but instead dug his nails into the palm of his hands as he clenched them tightly into fists, "_Merlin, I'm such a fucking idiot for being in love with him... Why him of all people, why couldn't I have fallen in love with someone else, why couldn't I have worked it out with Ginny, why couldn't I have been straight... Why was I born this way?_"

He held his breath, staring blankly at the wrinkled sheets and his body began to relax slightly as the anger left him and hurt took its place. Harry remembered when he first came out to Sirius and Hermione, remembering how they both accepted him for who he was but told him how it would sometimes get hard along the way, especially when people would begin to find out about his secret. They failed to tell him though that getting his heartbroken by a man he loved would be far worse than any rumor or insult. Feeling his eyes getting watery again at the thought of his dead godfather and Malfoy, Harry closed them as he bit his lip to keep from sobbing and he mumbled quietly under his breath,

_"Why was I born gay?"_

* * *

><p>"Harry, how're you feeling?"<p>

Harry stared emotionlessly at the plate of food before him, the chatter of gossip and laughter ringing off the walls of the Great hall, the smell of different types of delicious foods mixing in with each other into one wonderful aroma. It was a smell Harry used to love but as of right now, it all made Harry want to throw up, curl up into his bed and never have to get up again for the rest of his miserable life. But he knew something like that couldn't happen, so instead he looked up at his friend Hermione sullenly, who was waiting patiently for him to respond as Ron scarfed down strips of bacon, and Harry forced a weak smile,

"I feel alright, just rather tired from yesterday..."

"_It hurts..._"

"I'm sorry again for, you know, worrying you guys."

"_It hurts so badly..._"

"I just needed to get some fresh air and clear my mind. I didn't think I'd doze off for so long when I took a break."

"_Make it stop..._"

Hermione looked him up and down slowly with an unbelieving look, turning to Ron who glanced back at her before he shrugged and took a swing of pumpkin juice. Shaking her head slightly at her boyfriend's ignorance, Hermione turned back to him and mouthed quietly, "_Does it have to do with Malfoy?_" Harry looked away, feeling his stomach begin to churn and do backflips. He knew he could lie to her but it was Hermione, she could read him easily and his reaction to her question already confirmed her suspicions. Fiddling with his fork for a moment, he looked up at Hermione and nodded slightly, gripping the fork tightly in his hand. Hermione looked at him with sympathetic eyes and she mouthed to him again, making sure no one was looking,

"_We'll talk later._"

Harry nodded, not wanting to try and get out of a talk with Hermione, and he quietly turned away from his friends, prodding at the scrambled eggs on his plate. His stomach was continuing to do flip flops but he forced himself to take a few bites of food. Despite his misery, he was thankful that it was Saturday and he didn't have to worry about going to classes or having to deal with _him. _Sighing under his breath, Harry took another bite of the cold food and allowed himself to be lost in his thoughts when he remembered about the dream he had. He furrowed his brows slightly as he thought of the bits of a conversation that had randomly appeared, just like they did yesterday when he had seen Mal-.._him_ looking angrier than he had seen him before.

"_Maybe not..._" Harry thought as he paused eating for a moment, "_Maybe he has something to do with this... Whatever these conversations are, it didn't look like he wanted me to remember them... It could've been something he might be embarrassed about..._" He couldn't think of anything embarrassing enough though that would make _him _want to erase Harry's entire remembrance of it, and he couldn't think of any leads that had happened before in his past that got him involved with that situation. He didn't know anything that could help him figure this out, he didn't even know if it was something real or not but the look on _his _face when he had the first flashback,made Harry silently began to wonder what it meant. Taking another bite of his food without thinking, he thought of the other bits of a conversation that had occurred to him yesterday before his incident and wondered if maybe they connected in some kind of way but no matter how hard he tried to piece them together into fitting sentences, they still didn't make sense but they were definitely from the same memory.

Frustrated that he couldn't come up with anything, he set down his fork roughly to the side and took a sip of his juice bitterly. Ron and Hermione were acting all couple-ish and Harry rolled his eyes, looking elsewhere as his heart twinged slightly in jealously of his friend's happiness with one another. He glanced over the tables when he caught sight of white-blonde hair and he almost spilt his drink all over himself. He felt his depression begin to linger over him as he stared at a happy looking Malfoy, laughing with his friends without a care in the world. He looked so unaffected by yesterday, his eyes shining brightly as he laughed and smirked while Harry felt as if he gotten stabbed in the heart. He continued to stare and soon Harry felt his stomach beginning to churn again and he wished he hadn't decided to eat breakfast, feeling the food beginning to come up again and he felt himself sway slightly. Hermione's voice suddenly rang up and he winced, her voice seeming louder than it was,

"Harry are you alright? You don't look very well..." Ron's voice quickly followed afterward as the young couple sat up in alarm, Harry felt the blood begin to drain from his face as he paled, "You look like you're going to hurl mate, should we take him to the Hospit-" Harry shook his head, looking at them and he took a deep breath, and spoke in a pained voice, trying to recollect himself, "No no, I'm alright...I just-" He glanced up at the Slytherin table again and froze when he saw silver eyes staring his way. Malfoy was watching him intently almost looking concerned and worried, if Harry didn't feel like he was going to throw up he would've laughed at the thought of Malfoy being concerned for him. "_He doesn't give a shit about me..._" Harry thought, and he felt his breath get caught in his throat as he turned away from the Slytherin Prince, his stomach twisting violently into a knot, and his chest tightened in pain. He looked at his friends who were watching him worriedly and muttered out quietly, turning his gaze to the floor,

"I-I'm sorry but...I need to go." He held up a hand and shook his head when Hermione and Ron stood up to follow after him, "Please...let me to have some time for myself...I...I need to think."

Harry stood up abruptly, almost knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice as he hurried out of the Great Hall, feeling hundreds of eyes staring at him. Banging open the doors, he kept his eyes turned to the floor and he allowed them to lead him wherever it was he was going and he cursed to himself silently, feeling weak and foolish, "_I fucking hate this... I hate this, I hate hurting so much, I hate him so much...Why do I continue to love him so much?_" He grumbled unrecognizable words under his breath as he continued his fast pace but to his surprise, he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder tightly, stopping him and pulling him back. He looked up at the taller figure and saw Cedric was hovering above him and caught the familiar scent of ginger and vanilla reach his nostrils. He inhaled took another whiff of the smell, finding it intoxicating and he was in a haze but the hand, still on Harry's shoulder, squeezed him gently. Blinking out of his haze, he was surprised when he saw Cedric looking at him, his eyes full of concern and worry,

"Harry... Are you alright? What's with the hurry? You look as if you saw someone die or something..."

Harry looked away from the Hufflepuff and he kept his eyes focused on the ground before him, his tightened throat keeping him from speaking, not that he wanted to talk in the first place but he knew Cedric wouldn't let him leave without an explanation so he forced himself to whisper out, "Malfoy..." There was a silence for a moment and Harry felt the strong hand leave his shoulder, and he was ready to dark away again but couldn't when the hand was replaced by a comforting arm, wrapping itself loosely around his shoulders, pulling him away. He didn't object when he felt himself being led somewhere else and he heard Cedric say quietly to him,

"Harry...Let's go talk somewhere privately shall we?"


	6. Scarf for a Smile

"_**Harry...Let's go talk somewhere privately ok?"**_

Harry dully followed after Cedric, who still had an arm draping over his shoulders and had continued to lead him away from the school, as he trudged in the deep snow that was making it difficult for him to walk in. He shivered when an icy cold breeze went through him and goose bumps immediately formed, causing him to tremble in the cold air. He regretted not wearing his scarf today but then again he didn't know he'd be dragged outside in the middle of winter and he grumbled quietly in grouchiness, kicking up a bit of snow. Continuing to grumble about the cold weather, he felt a warm fabric touched his neck, causing him to flinch and he was forced to stop walking. He looked up at Cedric, who had taken off his own scarf and was tying it around Harry, folding it into his shirt to keep the wind from getting in.

Cedric looked at him when he noticed he was staring and smiled, his breath came out as icy air as he continued to fidget with the scarf, "Sorry, I don't want you getting sick or anything. Your friends wouldn't trust me to watch over you again if I brought you back with a cold, even if you didn't catch one from when I brought you to your dorm room last night..." Harry felt his face turn red in embarrassment when he remembered Cedric having to carry him around like some kind of damsel in distress the former night and he looked away, staying quiet for a few minutes as Cedric continued to fold the scarf, and he mumbled out, "Why're you helping me Cedric?..." He looked at the brunette, " I mean... We haven't talked much since the Triwizard tournament besides a few interviews we had together... " Cedric looked at him for a few seconds before he stood up straight and he tilted his head slightly to the side, raising an eyebrow, "Just because we haven't talked since then doesn't make us not friends does it? I still consider you to be my friend Harry, even if we never really got close to each other. I still care about you, since we helped each other survive in the tournament." Cedric turned away slightly but continued to look at him, "I could've died in that maze Harry but thanks to you, I'm still here, breathing and living. I owe you everything for that."

Cedric paused for a moment before, looking up at the towering Quidditch Pitch stands before turning to Harry, who was in utter shock and had his mouth gaping open slightly, and he laughed before saying, "And as for helping you, it's just how I am yknow. I like helping people, but I know you need a little more than just a pat on the back, you need someone to talk to and I'm more than happy to be the one to help you. Besides, I know in some kind of way how you feel about him..." Cedric smiled sadly, looking away as the silence lingered between them for a moment. Harry looked at him confused, finally recovering from the shock from Cedric's kind words and he began wondering how he knew what he could be going through when Cedric looked up at him again as he pointed towards one of the Quidditch stands," Come on, let's go up into the stands stairways. No one will hear us talking here and it's actually pretty warm in there as well. I used to skip Snape's class in my first year and hide out here."

Cedric started off towards it leaving Harry to watch after him as he continued to stay where he was. He looked at Cedric's retreating back, and he looked at the scarf wrapped around his neck, running a hand over the worn-out but soft fabric. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of ginger and vanilla and he looked up at Cedric again, who had stopped walking and was already several meters away. He gestured Harry to hurry up, before turning around and heading off again. Harry caught a glimpse of his smile, and he felt himself smiling slightly, even if it felt like it was forced, and he quickly walked through the deep snow, trying to catch up the Cedric who was nearly there. A brief thought went through his mind as he walked,

"_He has a very contagious smile._"

* * *

><p>"That's...that's quite a situation you've gotten yourself into Harry." Cedric commented quietly as Harry buried his face into his arms, bringing his knees up to his chest as he sighed out, "Y-Yeah.." Harry felt a shaky kind of relief go over him, and he felt a heavy burden come off of his chest, although his heart continued to feel suppressed and weighed down in depression. He had just told Cedric everything, everything that had happened since the beginning of the year and even though he thought talking about it would make him feel like shit, he instead felt better than before. Harry lifted his head from his arms, rubbing his eyes to make sure no tears had formed and he leaned back against the wooden planks of the Quidditch stand he and Cedric had taken shelter under.<p>

He watched the thick cloth covering the stand whizz back at forth, blocking the cold air from getting in and he looked over at Cedric, who was thumbing his fingers together and looked lost in thought. He sighed loudly, "I'm sorry...I know it's a lot to think about, it really is.. I hate myself for letting him use me in that kind of way... But then again I don't... I-... I just don't know what to think anymore honestly. I'm so lost.." Harry breathed out, his throat beginning to tighten up and he felt himself become emotionally exhausted, wanting nothing more than to go curl up in his bed and sleep. He glanced over at Cedric, who was already staring at him and Cedric spoke softly,

"Harry, you've never experienced something like this before and there's nothing wrong with feeling lost or not knowing what to do." He grabbed Harry's hands, squeezing them tightly, and he looked at him straight into his eyes, Harry felt his heart skip, "I know it hurts when someone you love doesn't love you back, especially when you thought that they might've and when you've given your all to them. But someone like Malfoy doesn't deserve your love Harry, he should've seen the good he had and appreciated it but he didn't, that's his own fault for losing you." Cedric smiled warmly, "You're very strong Harry, don't consider it to be the end of the world because of one heartbreak, there are plenty of other young men out there that would be lucky to have someone like you. You just need to find that person instead of sulking over someone that shouldn't be worth your sadness or heartache. Things will get better for you, I promise that. It'll just take some time for you to get past this, and getting past this is something I know you can do."

Harry sat back, staring at Cedric as he took in all the words he had just said. He was too stunned to speak and even when he opened his mouth to say something, nothing came out but a small squeak. Cedric laughed at his reaction and let go of his hands, "I can really leave you at a loss for words can't I?" He smiled and Harry chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his head, "Y-Yeah I guess you can... Thanks Cedric, I appreciate your help and everything... Also, thanks for not saying anything to anyone about what I said last night.. Most people would use it as blackmail and try to get me to do their biddings." He rolled his eyes at the thought of students making him sign autographs for their parents or something as Cedric responded as he leaned back against the wooden structure with Harry, "It's not my secret to tell, when you feel ready to go public about your sexual orientation, if you choose to, it should be you saying it. Not someone else."

Harry nodded slightly, "Yeah...by the way, earlier you said that you kind of knew what I was going through... How do you?" he asked curiously, wondering if maybe something Cedric and Cho had a situation like this before. He heard they had broken up when Cho kept letting her jealously get the best of her and kept restraining Cedric from seeing his friends until Cedric finally had enough and decided it was time to move on, breaking up with her over the summer. Cedric was quiet for a moment and Harry thought that maybe he had taken a step to far asking him that, he was about to apologize when Cedric finally spoke up, "Well...I know you can trust me with your secret so I know I can trust you with mine..."

He fidgeted with his fingers , biting his lip and he looked up at Harry, "Last year, after the Triwizard tournament, I don't know why but...I began developing feelings for someone, really strong feelings...And it wasn't Cho, it was..." He looked away, swallowing hard, "..It was someone I hadn't expected to ever develop feelings for and even more so... It was a wizard." Harry felt his eyes widen in surprise and he opened his mouth to say something but was cut off as Cedric continued, "I became really confused and lost about what was right and wrong, what would be accepted and not accepted, what I wanted and what I should want... I denied myself that I was interested in men but I eventually came to accept it and realized I was bisexual. That's why Cho was always so restricting when we were still together, she knew I was interested in someone else and kept trying to keep me from seeing whomever she thought I might be attracted to besides her."

Cedric sighed at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, and he looked at Harry, "And the wizard I was attracted to never came to know about my feelings. I was going to confess to him a few weeks ago but..." He smiled sadly, looking down, "...He's already in love with somebody else..." Harry felt empathy wash over him as he looked at a heartbroken Cedric and he reached out to him, rubbing his back and giving his shoulder a squeeze. Cedric rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, and he looked at Harry, forcing a weak smile, "Thanks Harry... So, I know how you feel.. and it really sucks but I know you can get through it. Even if it'll take some time because I'm still trying to get over him but don't give up just yet alright?" Harry nodded, feeling better that he had someone to compare his problems with, even if they weren't completely similar, they still involved the same issue.

They were both in love with someone who would never love them back.

* * *

><p>"So you think you'll be ok now Harry?" Cedric asked as they walked down the long hallway together, Harry by his side. Harry and Cedric spent most of the morning at the Quidditch Pitch, telling stories to one another and explaining their different experiences of when they first decided to come out to their close friends and family. Cedric was turned away from his father at first but he eventually came around and told him he loved him no matter what but he still hoped to have some grandchildren before he passed on. As for his friends, they mostly consisted of Hufflepuffs who accepted him in a heartbeat and even threw a 'coming out party.' Harry laughed at the thought of that, he could already imagine rainbows covering the walls, paper fairies and unicorns floating about everywhere, he laughed even more when Cedric told him all that was true and it had to be the most embarrassing but comforting party he had ever been to. Harry told him about his coming out to Sirius and Hermione, that they both accepted him but had warned him about the difficulties of being gay and he explained to Cedric he hadn't told Ron yet because he was a bit of a homophobic. Cedric rolled his eyes at that.<p>

Now, it was nearly lunch time so the two decided it'd be ok to walk together, after all they were friends now weren't they? Harry sighed loudly, hoping he wouldn't see Malfoy there during lunch and also hoping he would , "Yeah, I think I'll be alright for now... It's like you said, just need some time I guess, I think I'll just skip lunch today actually..." Cedric nodded in agreement as they neared the Great Hall and he turned to Harry, "Well, I thought today was a nice chat. I hope things go ok for you Harry and also... Talk to your friends soon. Don't lose your connection with them. Especially Ron..." Harry shrugged and smiled back a bit, "Yeah, I'll try to.. Thanks again Cedric. Good luck to you too...getting over that wizard."

Cedric didn't respond, he simply smiled before he started walking into the Great Hall when Harry realized something and stopped him, "Wait, Cedric!" he unwrapped the Hufflepuff scarf still around his neck and he held it out to him, "Your scarf...Sorry, I forgot I was wearing it." Cedric smiled and pushed his hand politely away, "Keep it, since you seem to always forget yours." He winked at Harry and disappeared into the Great Hall. Harry watched him leave, feeling a small floating feeling in his chest and he gripped the scarf tightly, looking down at it before smiling. He wrapped it loosely around his neck before he turned away from the Great Hall and made his way to the Gryffindor common room, hoping to meet up with Hermione and Ron later today. He felt a gnaw in his stomach at the thought of telling them everything but Cedric was right, he shouldn't be closed up from them, especially when he needed help and they were like family to him. "_Merlin, this is going to be a rough day..._" Harry thought with a sigh as he came closer to the dormitories and he made the final turn when he came to a halt, feeling himself freeze completely. Near the entrance he saw Ron, Hermione and

"Malfoy..." He mumbled quietly.

The blonde and Ron were standing toe to toe, Hermione trying to get in-between them. They were both flushed red with anger, fists closed tightly, and jaws clenched. Harry could almost see the sparks between their heated glares. Malfoy jerked his head when he heard his name, and immediately his gaze softened but continued to hold its sharpness. He looked at Harry and Harry could've sworn he saw his face twitch slightly when he saw the scarf around his neck. Moving away from Ron, he walked quickly up to Harry while throwing another glare at the redhead before turning around to face him. Harry felt himself back up a few steps, not feeling ready to face the Slytherin much less talk to him. Malfoy looked back at his friends again and suddenly looked nervous, darting his eyes as he avoided Harry's and he spoke quietly,

"I need to talk to you Potter...In private."


End file.
